Monday, February 2, 2009

There are few things I love more than potatoes


There are few things I love more than potatoes.  Maybe my boyfriend, Marc Jacobs, cats, when I find Dior scarves at the thrift store... BUT potatoes?  Potatoes are tops!  They are also my go-to food at restaurants where there is absolutely NOTHING else I can eat.  Barton and I have that in common.  I'm vegan and Barton is Gluten-Free.  What is both?  Potatoes.

When out with the 'rents or some other random group of people who want to go out to eat (puritans).  They turn to me and as if they just smelled a fart, they wrinkle their noses and say: "Oh.  Where can YOU eat?"  "Anywhere" I reply, because I have a secret.

That secret is potatoes.

So here's to you potatoes.  I felt like I would be remiss if I didn't dedicate a blog to your grandeur.  I love you so much that I would write a song about you.  I love you so much I would marry you (thank you Ryan Capistrant from 2nd grade for teaching me that "If I love something so much WHY don't I marry it?").  I love potatoes so much I would name my first born after them.  Then give it up for adoption because I hate babies.

Vegan & Gluten-Free Meal ANY Restaurant Will Have:

French Fries/Baked Potato - Make sure to ask for it plain.  Olive oil & ketchup while boring, always make good toppers.  Plus all the salt & pepper you can handle without your cholesterol going cray cray.

Side Salad/Garden Salad - Look for words like "fresh," or "romaine," or "mixed salad greens."  You may as well starve if they are serving iceberg lettuce.  That stuff is nar the horn.  Made sure to ask for it without croutons or cheese.  My favorite restaurant DIY dressing is equal parts olive oil & balsamic vinegar.  Apple cider vinegar will work too.  If you're feeling saucy add a bit of mustard (just a bit) it adds a quazi honey-mustard feel to it.  OR a I'm-mashing-up-all-the-food-on-my-plate-and-daring-someone-to-eat-it approach to things.  Throw a bit of pepper on top for good measure but send that waiter wannabee with the "freshly grated parmesan" away.  You don't want his kind here.

I guarantee you will feel satiated after this.  At least until you can go home and shove some PB&J in your face.

Love you, mean it

Emily

2 comments:

  1. I don't remember telling you that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wait, who are you "nayr." And do you know who this is?

    ReplyDelete